I guess I just couldn't bring myself to write this blog, now that I (sorta) know the end of the story, I'm ready.
month, before Jay and I went to Maine I received an ominous phone call
from my dad. His doctor found something suspicious and wanted him to
come in for a biopsy. They performed the procedure while we were gone
and got the results back the week following.
Sitting just beside my driveway, while getting the mail, my daddy told me over the phone he had cancer.
a while, I clammed up about it. I didn't want to talk about it. I
didn't want to think about it. I told a few friends, but asked them not to mention it to me. I even told Jay I didn't want to talk about it.
During a run one Sunday, I had
my breakdown. Scared and upset, I ran
the first 6 miles doing all the worrying I'd pent up in my head. My
daddy has cancer. I even said it aloud. All the not talking/thinking
about it had left me numb. Something about the words made it real.
Along the route, I saw a dead bird on the ground. Not sure why I found that dead bird comforting, but I starting humming His Eye is on the Sparrow. Life is hard, all too often. But.
the turn around, I abandoned my concerns to the Lord. No matter what
happened, He is in charge. He has a plan. My daddy has cancer. BUT. My daddy has Jesus.
After a month of waiting, last week he had surgery to remove the
disease. He'd been told radiation might be necessary afterward,
depending on margins and what not.
This time, after only a week and a half of waiting, he learned his margins looked good and no further treatments are needed. He's still got some recovering to do from the surgery, but the scary part is over.
From where I'm sitting, its easy to say cancer sucks, but God is good. He wouldn't be any less good had the outcome been different. However I'd be lying if I tried to pretend I'm anything but thrilled with the news. Praise the Lord. Not because He did what makes me happy, but because no matter the storm, no matter the damage, He is worthy of our praise.