Wednesday, May 14, 2014

A Lesson in Hospitality - Trophy Wife 101

A gift for some, a chore for others.

For this trophy wife it can often seem like a second job.  Most of his sales are rental properties or second homes, so when the clients-turned-friends come back into town, they often want to meet up with us for dinner.

Last week was one such opportunity. But first, some back-story.

Picture it - 2008. A new married couple return from their honeymoon early and attend a real estate auction. A 5.55 acre lot is their first piece of real estate and also their first joint debt. They planned to build their forever home there.

Skipping to the point, we ended up selling it. Only shocking to those who don't know about the nomadic life we've had the past 5+ years. We are currently living in our 3rd house, and have a date scheduled this evening to consider a prospect for #4.

The couple who purchased it from us is from out of town, but visit the area often. Whenever they are in town, they let Jay know and we try to get together. This past week was such a time. They have built a gorgeous home on the land and invited us over for a champagne toast to celebrate.

Okay now I'm really to the point - they don't have furniture in their home yet. Their grill isn't hooked up. . The burgers were cooked in the oven, we sat in lawn chairs, and used a 5 gallon bucket for a table. Yet I've never felt more warm hospitality than I did that evening.

I experienced another example over the Mothers Day weekend. I offered to take my mother and grandmother out to lunch, but neither wanted to bother with the crowds. Instead, my mom hosted us at her house. We ate burgers and potato chips off of paper plates.

Hospitality has less to do with fine china and a perfectly set table, and more to do with the heart of the host. Opening up my home shouldn't have to be a big presentation, but rather a time of good conversation. Enjoying friends and family, even if the house isn't spotless.

I'm slowly learning that its okay to say "don't take off your shoes, my floor is too dirty" when guests arrive. Chances are, their house isn't spotless either and my admission will make them feel right at home.


  1. You are so right! It's not an easy lesson to learn and I still fail most of the time. I could be hospitable more often if I didn't feel like everything had to be perfect. :)

  2. Good reminder! I've had some great times with friends under not so ideal situations. Besides, when I try so hard to make everything just right I'm sometimes too tired to enjoy the company when they arrive.

  3. I no longer apologize for the toys on the floor. We have a toddler. Toys happen. (So does dirt.) :-)

  4. I feel like I'm always relearning this. My house doesn't have to be spotless to be welcoming. My cooking doesn't have to be gourmet to be great. And if I spend my time worrying about the presentation, I miss the opportunity to invest in my guests and their stories...which actually means I miss the point of hospitality in the first place.
    Thanks for the reminder!!

  5. I have learned to live with this but the other half refuses to have company unless the place is spotless, so, we never have company. LOL