Friday, March 28, 2014

Freak Out Time??

My marathon is 2 days away. I've had freak-out moments all week, but then a distraction would come along. Now I suspect the jitters are here to stay. If all goes as planned, in 48 hours I will be in the home stretch of the race - smashing the PR I set on the same course 2 years ago.

But. I keep coming back to that nasty word. But what if...

This race is important to me. 2 years ago I set a goal of a sub 5 hour race. Instead of finishing strong, I went out too fast, the air quality got to me, and I blew up in the back half. Just last weekend I was ashamed to tell someone what my current PR is.

During that race, I pushed hard. I wanted to give up. But didn't. That's nothing to be ashamed of.

What if I don't reach my goal? This terrifies me. I've set a lofty goal for this race. Based on training paces, I think I can hit it. But it will require some hard work and mental toughness on my part. So as a hedge, I started considering some lesser goals. Only I couldn't pinpoint on a finishing time for the worst performance which I would still be happy with.

That's a road I just don't want to go down. Instead, I have a solid goal. I have a race plan calling for me to run conservative at the front, and speed up when/if possible for the middle and end miles. I have my goal. My success or failure won't be determined based on the number on the clock, but rather how much of myself I gave this race. I realize its a very "well duh" statement to make, however I've allowed myself to be ruled by numbers for most of my running career.

So that's my official goal - run a race I can be proud of. Give it my all. Race smart. Take in my surroundings. Enjoy my companions. And at the end of the day, no matter how close or far I am from the finishing time in my brain, I can be satisfied.

Can't be that hard, right?




  1. Girl, you are going to do great things this weekend. I have no doubt. I can't wait to read all about it next week (or even on twitter. You better tweet that stuff.) :)

  2. Don't go there. you got this!! Can't wait for the recap! :)

  3. You're going to do great! Can't wait for the report!

  4. I hear ya! I have a post coming up (probably tomorrow) about letting go of expectations that I place on myself. IF you are at the expo between 9-12 I would love to meet you- I know you have a busy day with ra run and such but if that happens to be when you are there I will be working in the kids packet pick up (at least that's the plan). Come say hey!