Friday, January 24, 2014

Dear Diary,

It seems to be coming at me from all sides. Once again, I have someone pressing me about what I can do for them. This afternoon I found myself confronted by the 3rd person in a week who doesn't have a clue who I am at my core, yet is trying to advance their agenda through me.
  • The neighbors who're trying to offer unsolicited financial advice.
  • The coworkers who expect me to clean up their messes.
  • The relatives pointedly asking me to promote their business.
Each time I've had a strong reaction in my gut.
  • Clearly they have no idea our actions were carefully considered in our 5 year debt-free plan.
  • Do I always draw the short straw because I'm a girl? Non-confrontational? Or both?
  • Have I ever even promoted my own stuff on Facebook? Why would I act differently for someone else?
Pride.

Its hard for this girl who's struggled with self-esteem issues all my life to understand the dangers of pride. Finally, I'm starting to see the good qualities I possess and damn it, I want everyone else to see them too.

I hope this is just a growing pain. A brief pit stop on the path to being comfortable in my own skin. Obviously I'm not there yet, or else I wouldn't care how others saw me. I'd be confident enough in me as a person to not care what they thought.

Much like last week's Less of Me post, I'm not sure this post makes much sense. Maybe I'm indulging my pride by talking about it. Then again, maybe a reader will pray for me in this specific area. Or else give me an incredible tip on overcoming pride. I'll take whatever I can get!

3 comments:

  1. I've been convicted by how often I act in pride, which seems crazy because I don't have the best self-esteem. So, I get it, and I'll pray for you!

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  2. offta, that's a big one. Don't we all act out in pride at some point? we can't expect to be perfect, just human.

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  3. I get it and I totally agree with Kim. I think you are awesome!

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