This year I've thought more about my purpose, ministry in life than I have the previous 34. Or at least it feels to me like I have. First I discovered I had been equipped with spiritual gifts to serve the body of Christ.
In theory, I knew each believer was equipped in some fashion for kingdom work. In practice I had no clue what that looked like or meant for my life. Discovering that the gifts don't necessarily manifest in standard ways was game-changing for me.
Teaching doesn't necessarily mean sitting in a class room of 3 year olds reading them a Bible study. I very much enjoy substitute teaching for my Bible study class, but that too isn't the full extent of my calling.
More and more I'm starting to truly believe that writing is another form of the gift of teaching. Putting thoughts and concepts into words which can be savored and enjoyed. I'm not sure I'm there yet, but the more I write, the more I can refine my craft and get that much closer to my goals.
Purpose. Calling. Gift.
These seem so serious and dramatic. And they can be. However at heart, I am a brutally honest, geek who doesn't take herself too seriously. I'm slowly learning that God isn't limited by my personality, but can work through it for His glory. No matter how loca I am.
Linking up with Jaime for Stream of Consciousness Weekend. What's on your mind? Share it in the comments or let me know if you post your on SOC blog.
In the spirit of Halloween, let's discuss fear. Some love to dress up in scary costumes, watch horror movies, or visit haunted corn mazes. While I don't enjoy the traditional horrifying aspects of Halloween, I certainly don't live life in a bubble - afraid to experience all this world has to offer.
So which am I? Fearful or Fearless?
On one (well sanitized) hand, I'm germophobic, claustrophobic, and radiophobic. On the other (trail dirt) filled hand, I'm always up for an adventure. Whether it be zip-lining, roller coasters, or gazing over tall cliffs, I enjoy pushing the limits of sanity.
I feel like I get the opportunity to write about my fearless when recounting my adventures. So what scares the girl who finds herself at peace in situations like this?
Animals top the list of things which freak me out. I hate encountering a dog while I'm out running. I scream when a friend's cat brushes up against my leg under the dinner table. I need a Xanax to calm me down the evening Jay trapped a rat in our house.
Social situations can also leave me anxiety ridden. Best I can figure, I'm an ambivert - a weird combination of needing to make plans to go out with the girls, and weekends spent home alone with a good book.
I feel awkward making conversation, but have also been told I could talk to a tree if there were no people around. The difference is subtle enough I'm not sure I can understand it, much less put it into words to explain to someone else.
Despite my seemingly nomad lifestyle (3 houses in 6 years) real estatetransactions fill me with trepidation. If its a home - what if we miss the old place? What if we over-bought and can't afford it? What if our new neighbors suck?
When it comes to investments, the potential of losing money doesn't scare me as much as the prospect of going broke. I've been poor before (relatively speaking of course) and I survived. I just don't wanna go back there.
Like the fear itself, this transition makes no sense. I wasn't a child of the Cold War, and at only 9 years of age I don't even recall the Berlin Wall coming down. Yet somehow nuclear radiation is one of my biggest phobias.
While I can't handle scary movies, the only one to ever give me legit nightmares afterward was the based-on-a-true-story K-19: The Widowmaker. For those who haven't seen it, the film doesn't belong in the horror genre. The IMDB synopsis explains:
When Russia's first nuclear submarine malfunctions on its maiden voyage, the crew must race to save the ship and prevent a nuclear disaster.
Saving the most fearful for last, I hesitate to even write about this one. I don't want to think about it and consider it as a possibility. Despite the fact that this fear is the most likely to come to fruition.
The thought of losing someone I love breaks my heart. Sure I joke about ways I'm going to kill Jay, but that's totally different. My family and friends are precious to me. This fear is probably a sign that I don't pray for them nearly enough.
Rather than trusting the God who blessed me by allowing them to be a part of my life, I just hold tight to the fear of the unexpected.
For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment. 2 Timothy 1:7 HCSB
I'm linking up with Kelly today for her Friday Five link-up. Join us in the conversation.
Let me know in the comments if you plan on posting on the topic.
If not, then in the comments I'd love for you to share your fears in the comments. My rule of thumb: the more weird the better!
This
post is part of Sue Detweiler’s #MarriageRocks Blog Tour - I feel honored to join up with some other great bloggers. To learn more
and join us, CLICK HERE.
Both thorough and concise, 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage offers
insight and tips for couples seeking a marriage that honors God. I enjoyed the
way the author broke down the traits, how problems can manifest if they are
neglected, and practical ways for couples to work on each area.
This volume was both short and easy to read, and also full of quality content. Detweiler challenged the way I've applied scripture in my marriage, examining the heart behind the verses - radically changing how they are lived out.
Specifically, her explanation of Ephesians 4:26 - don't
let the sun go down on your anger was eye opening to me. I've fought with
my husband well into the night, only getting crankier and more accusatory as
the night goes on.
Instead, she explains, taking the verse to mean not to dwell on your anger, sometimes going to bed and getting some rest - letting go of your anger if only for the evening - can be the best approach to a swift conflict resolution.
If only for this insight, the book will serve my family well. Thankfully, however, Detweiler has other wisdom to impart in the book's pages.
Acceptance is the first trait she tackles, and its a doozy. How many times have I sat around with girlfriends gabbing about all the things wrong with our spouses?
What drives wives (and husbands) crazy about their spouse are often the personality quirks which brought them together in the first place.
Do I love it when Jay is devoted and totally focused on doing something special for me? YES. Am I incredibly annoyed when he treats a client the same? You bet!
And that's why I love him.
Having been accused of being honest to a fault, I thought perhaps I'd have an easy time of the the section on the topic. I couldn't be that lucky.
Trait
# 4 Honesty: Ground Rules for
Honesty in A Marriage
1. Watch your Words
2. Listen Attentively
3. Speak Honestly
4. Keep a Positive
Perspective
To paraphrase the great Ian Malcolm: I'm too busy being self-righteous about the fact that its true, I don't stop to think if its something which should be said.
Over the past 7 years, God has been refining my words, attitudes, and actions as a strive for a marriage which honors Him and my darling. Maybe in another 43 we'll have this figured out. Until then, I am gratiful for resources like this book to help me along the way.
Is It
Possible to Enjoy a Strong and Healthy Marriage - -Till Death Do Us Part?
Yes . . . with God!
*Heal the broken places in your marriage
*Strengthen your relationship with your spouse
*Understand God's plan for your marriage
*Revive your relationship with God's transformative power
Order your copy today!
I was given a free copy of this book as a participant in the 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Marriage book launch team. All opinions are my own.
Tomorrow, my darling love turns 36. What better way to celebrate him than post several photos which will most likely embarrass him? I love how in the photo to the left he's trying to look mean, but can't quite pull it off. The snap is from a hike to Rainbow Falls with out-of-town guests.
Sure, we've been known to bicker on the trails.
Brooke, you're acting like a hungry toddler. Have a snack.
Thankfully he's also not one to hold a grudge. Ultimately hiking in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park never fails to bring a smile to our faces.
My nephew and I like to say "hashtag dangerous is fun!" And yes, hashtag must be said. My husband, Jay, however is the king of the DIF movement. He loves pushing the limits of what he can do. I'm pretty sure there are deep rooted psychological reasons for this - given that his mother wanted to put him in a bubble after his hemophilia diagnosis. However I can't deny that life on the edge is a bit more fun. But seriously, we're always safe. Promise.
He gets sick of me perpetually wanting to take selfies (us-ies?) or at least he pretends to be annoyed. I love the smirks he makes when I take the pictures, so I don't mind his annoyance - real or pretend. I took the photo on the left at a Tennessee Smokies game a few years ago. Unfortunately this year, we didn't get to very many games. Speaking of unfortunate: those bangs! Since this blog is about him not me, we'll just move right along.
Living in a tourist town has its perks. Sure I may gripe about traffic, but the tourism industry is the reason both Jay and I are employed, despite not being directly in the industry ourselves. In addition to that, we frequently have the opportunity to attend free concerts and other types of entertainment. The idea of course is to draw in tourists for sales, but we are still able to have a good time. In the case of the photo on the left, Jay and I headed up to Moonshine Holler (home of the original Old Smoky Moonshine Distillery and Store) to hear his favorite musician Daryle Singletary perform. I'm really not sure why everyone in picture (save us) looks miserable. Free moonshine, free music, can life get any better?
Actually it can. A life of love with the one who constantly puts a smile on my face.Happy birthday to my favorite scruffy nerf-herder in the galaxy!!!!
This week's topic: Five Smiles. Who/what has brought a smile to your face this week?
This morning I came to the stark realization: I have boobs.
I realize, given my recent post about the 35 years I’ve spent on this plant my epiphany
seems a bit delayed, but allow me to explain.
Thanks to my mother’s fabulous contribution to my genetic
make-up, I’m a pear shaped woman. Defined by its small top and larger bottom,
big chests need not apply.
Most of my life I’ve bemoaned my lack of endowment, until I
became a runner. Shopping on clearance racks I can purchase sports bras in the
$10 range, while friends with greater “needs” spend upwards of $50 for a good
running undergarment.
These days, for me personally, boobs symbolize fat. My chest
is the last place I gain weight, the last place I see it. Even my face gets a
bit of extra puff before the girls.
So this morning, when I realized my v-neck tee required a
camisole for modesty sake, my heart sank. This is the message my mind has been
rejecting for a few months now.
It.
Is.
Time.
Past time, really, to push away from the table and stop my
free-for-all with food. To consider what I’m putting into my body and why.
I’m not sure I’ll ever crash diet again, or be so totally
focused I get to my goal weight of 125 (a number I made up in my head
half-a-decade ago). The Whole 30 sounds appealing and scary all at the same
time, although highly impractical with the holidays approaching.
All I know is that I’ve got to do something. Good genes/jeans will
only help for so long!
Linking up with Jaime for Stream of Consciousness Weekend. What's on your mind? Share it in the comments or let me know if you post your on SOC blog.
